FPP: Challenges and opportunities

This is the last week that I will be sharing some thoughts that I've had from my Family class. I’ve learn so much and I hope you guys have enjoyed it.

Many of us will be or has already been challenged to defend Family Proclamation Principles. It is not always easy to share and defend those, especially in these times. President Spencer W. Kimball said:

“The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us”

As we learn to truly understand the principles taught in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” we will be able not to only strengthen our family but we will also be able to share them more comfortably with others.  We will be questioned about our beliefs and more specifically about the way that we live our lives. Sometimes we may feel attacked by individuals questioning our beliefs, but when those times come we need to ask for the spirit to be with us. It is our duty as sons and daughters of Heavenly Father to stand up for the family. As members of the church we have so many more eternal truths than so many people. It is not easy to share what we believe to be true, but we owe it to Heavenly Father.  He has given us so many things, more than we can even imagine, and one thing that he asks of us is to help his daughters and sons return to him. The perfect way to do that is to share the truth with everyone around us.

Lastly, I want to share a little bit about LDS Family Services.   It is more than an adoption agency. It is truly an institution that brings family closer together. LDS Family Services does focus much on adoption but as well in counseling and addiction recovery programs. In my class we primarily focused on adoption. Something that I would want to share is that “adoption is an unselfish, loving decision that blesses both the birth parents and the child in this life and eternity”. Adoption is more than given a child away ; it is about love, maturity, and being selfless.

LDS Family Services is about helping individuals when challenges arise. Many of us might be embarrassed to ask for help, but we can’t have that burden with us always. Sometimes we need to let go of our pride and seek for individuals to help us. LDS Family Services is able to do that for each one of us. If you would want to look at the services they offer here is the link: LDS Family Services.

I hope you have enjoyed my posts! 

FPP: Family Principles

We have heard the term ‘wholesome recreational activities’  many times in our lives as Mormons. But what does it mean? Going outside and playing in the sun? Or watching TV as a family. Well.. It can be both. Wholesome recreational activities are meant to strengthen the family unit.

Now days we have so much technology that we disconnect ourselves from each other. Wholesome family recreation allows us to be with each other and come closer as a family unit. The book for my family class said concerning wholesome recreational activities,

“ Meaningful recreation doesn’t just happen; it must be prepared for, cultivated, and privately defended.”

We need to avoid meaningless leisure. Many of us are very busy but we need to plan for the activities that we want to do as a family. They don’t have to be huge plans, but activities that will reunite the family.  We live in a time that provides many activities that we can do as a family, but we need to find activities that will help us grow stronger, build relationships, build faith and happiness.

Forgiving is such a strong principles. It is easy to understand, but hard to act upon. Many of us have been hurt in many different ways. Sometimes it is the hardest when someone that we love has hurt us. There are many behaviors out there that are very difficult to forget  about and eventually forgive.

I was able to learn how important it is to remember all the things that an individual that has hurt us  has done right and not just focus on the one thing that they did wrong. As we look at it this way, it will be a little more easier for us to forgive that individual.

In my family book  it talked about what Christ taught about forgiveness:

"And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."

I loved that. Even though we may be hurting it is important to forgive so our healing process can be more peaceful and when we do something wrong our Heavenly Father will forgive us because we have forgiven others. 

No one on this Earth is perfect. I think that we should be willing to forgive all. It will be hard at times, but we need to leave that judgment to Heavenly Father. In the Doctrine and Covenants Heavenly Father says, “ I will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” 

I hope you enjoyed it! Have a great weekend. 

FPP: Family life

 This week I want to talk about supporting family members and the subject of “Honor Thy Father”.

We all know that we need to support each other in a family. We need to be there for our sibling’s sporting events, weddings, blessings, etc. But I am not going to discuss the nuclear family support system, but the extended family support system. I think that most of us care very deeply about our nuclear family. We talk to our parents and siblings often, but what about our grandparents, our cousins, our aunts? You do care about them. Why don’t you do anything about it?  Is our relationship with them as strong as it could be? I know that I need to improve. My grandparents live in another country and I talk to them maybe around 6-8 times a year. That is so sad to think about. Sometimes we get too caught up in our own lives that we forget about our extended family. President Ezra Taft Benson said,

“We encourage families to give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care and attention they deserve.”

I think that many of us fall into the trap of thinking that our parents or grandparents are too old, they can’t remember things, they say hurtful words, etc. Those things are probably true. But we have to remember that because of the things that they did or didn’t do we are the person we are today. We need to learn to love them and truly care about them and their needs. Sometimes elderly people need us there just so they know that we care. They don’t need us to bring them anything; they just want us to love them.

My grandparents

My next subject is “Honoring Thy Father”. I am going to do this in a different perspective. I am not going to discuss the ways that we should honor our fathers, but what it is needed from fathers to be honored. Parenthood is not easy, but it is one of the greatest joys! Fathers need to preside in preside over their family. Fathers are “a powerful spiritual figure in the family.” Children need their fathers to share their spiritual experiences with them. Sometimes we leave that up to the mother, but it is essential that children know that their father has a testimony.

A father needs to be present. Most of our fathers work really hard during the day and sometimes we don’t see them until the next morning. But make sure that when you have time, you spend it with your family. Children need their father and they will respect you because of that. Be there for them. My dad is a busy individual with work and church. My mom wasn’t able to always be there when I had dance competitions because she had to take care of my little sister. But my dad was there. I loved that! He would always yell my name and embarrass me before a performance with his whistling. But I loved that he was present!

The last points are that fathers are supposed to provide for their family and to be partners with their spouse. Fathers don’t just need to provide financial means but also emotional as I’ve mentioned before. Lastly, fathers and mothers will work better in the family unit if they are united.  As children we should have respect for our parents. But parents need to things that children will admire, always remember, so that honor can increase daily.

My parents and Keally

That is it for this week! I hope you all enjoyed it. Sorry for the spelling errors. Have a great weekend :)

FPP: Parenting Principles

This week in our class we discussed parenting and its purpose. Parenting is such a powerful subject. As a parent I have to admit that it is hard. It is not easy. After you have a child everything changes. Your priorities are not the same and you become more selfless. There is little sleep, little time for yourself and tiredness. Parenting is the greatest gift that Heavenly Father has given us.

Heavenly Father has a great plan for each one of us. I remember when I got pregnant with Lea, I received many comments such as “You are too young” or “How are you going to do it”. I have to admit that I am a young mom. I had Lea at 19. You know what… I could have waited until we were done with school, but Heavenly Father had something greater for me.  Lea is such a great blessing in our lives. I do not regret it.  The great thing about being a young mom is that I’ll be done having children by age 26. Isn’t that great?!!

How was I going to do it? I don’t really know. Everything came together perfectly. I am going to graduate with a bachelor’s degree in what I love and my relationship with Jason had grown. I I know that we couldn’t have done it without Heavenly Father’s help. I know that He was there every step of the way. He truly does love each one of us and I have seen His works in my daily life.

I believe it is important to talk to your spouse and determine what kind of parents you want to be. He or she may have a different view and it is essential to address those before. I have to admit that being parent is not easy, but I promise that if you work together with your spouse it will be much better.

Once you get married the next big step is to try to have children. Sometimes it is a longer process. Getting pregnant does take time. In some cases you’ll get pregnant right away, but most of the time it will take lots of fun/ tries  (If you know what I mean) lol. Heavenly Father does love you. He cares about you, He knows your needs and knows you better than you know yourself.

I hope you all have a great weekend. I am having a blast here in sunny California. I can’t wait to post pictures of all the fun :)

FPP: Marriage Preparation

A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I was going to write a blog post for one of my classes. Every week, I will be blogging on the subject that we are discussing in class.

These are the things we did before we got married :)

This week we talked about marriage preparation and incorporating continued courtship during marriage. We read several talks. If you have the opportunity, I will recommend you read the talk by Elder Marvin J. Ashton called “Becoming a Quality Person Now”. It is really short and won’t take more than 7 minutes to read it. It was a very powerful talk about becoming the type of person that we would like to be and our relationship with Heavenly Father. 

In class we had the discussion of why dating is on the decline these days and why people are getting married later in their lives, especially in our LDS community. “Hanging out” has a lot to do with this. There is a huge difference between hanging out and dating. In dating you get to know a person. You get to see their reactions, you get to hear them express themselves, and you get to learn more about them.

Dating shouldn’t stop after you get married. Courtship is very important in marriage. Elder Lance B. Wickman said, “Courtship is a time for two people to get acquainted. It is a time to get to know someone, his or her interests, habits, and perspective on life and the gospel. It is a time to share ambitions and dreams, hopes and fears. It is a time to test someone’s commitment to gospel living.” After an individual gets married, priorities change and courtship allows those new dreams and perspectives in life that you have to be spoken of. Courtship is a time where spouses can communicate their new dreams and desires. Courtship is not sitting in front of the TV and watching a movie. It is more than that. I know that we have fallen into that trap, but it is so much better to courtship each other with no distractions.

Today we live in the age of finding our “soul mate”.  We believe in super relationships that are effortless with no conflicts filled with romantic intimacy and emotional togetherness. But as we all know marriage is not that easy. It requires “work, patience, personal growth, compromise, commitment, and sacrifice.” I love what President Kimball said, “Soul mates are fiction and illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.”

Many of us have unrealistic expectations of our soul mate. We have to let those go and become the quality person that we would want our future spouse or current spouse to be. As President Kimball said we have to be willing to pay the price to have a happy and successful marriage.

Well… That is all for this week. Sorry if I have spelling errors. I hope you all have a great weekend. 

These are the things we do now...

FPP: Marriage

For one of my classes, I have to do project about the family unit. I have decided to write a blog post every week on the subject that we are discussing in class that week. I think it is important for my friends and family to learn what I am learning.

This week, I want to share a video that we watched in class. It only 5 min. It is about marriage and how marriage is viewed today.

We all know that marriage is not easy.  President Spencer W. Kimball said,

 “While marriage is difficult, and discordant and frustrated marriages are common, yet real, lasting happiness is possible and marriage can be more an exultant than human mind can conceive. This is within the reach of every couple, every person.”

Sometimes we go through trials and think that we can’t do it, but we can. We have to work together as a unit to make it work. You can’t just have one spouse work at it and the other just sit there and do little or nothing. It won't work that way! That is where humility comes in. We have to humble ourselves to work together to achieve the things that will make the marriage work.

It is important to make sure that intimacy is involved in marriage. Not just sex (although, it is fun and that is how you make babies), but emotional intimacy is so important. We have to be friends with our spouse. Share the little things that happen to us during the day and make connections with what the things that your spouse say to you. Our spouses need to know that we care about the little things. We need to communicate and be an active listener. Don’t just agree, but talk back. Communicate your thoughts and opinions.

Many of us have heard that we all have different “love maps”. We have to find out our spouse's love map. Some people like when their spouse gives them gifts, other like when their spouse serves them, etc. It is important that our spouse knows our love map. If they don’t know our love map then we won’t be satisfied with our relationships. Sometimes it is embarrassing or upsetting to tell your spouse what you what you need... But you have to do it, if not you wont be happy.

--Well... That’s it for this week. I probably have lots of spelling error, but It’s ok. I just want to get my point across... I hope you enjoy it :)

** I just have to say that I love my husband. He is the best**